


You'll stay

by Littlefangirlatheart



Series: Snowbaz song fics [3]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:20:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29642922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Littlefangirlatheart/pseuds/Littlefangirlatheart
Summary: Simon and Baz had to break up, they had to work on themselves before being ready to love each other. Two years after their trip to America they decide to try again.This fic is inspired by the song Vas a Quedarte-Aitana
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Snowbaz song fics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2039490
Kudos: 18





	You'll stay

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back with another song fic! I should mention I haven't slept well in weeks so if you find mistakes let's blame that. Also I'm not really used to writing happy stuff so this was new for me. I hope you like this!

**Simon**

I've missed him. It's all I've done since we broke up, I couldn't keep it together for long enough to convince him I loved him. And now, while I'm waiting on this library (his idea) I'm definitely freaking out. What if this goes wrong again? What if I fuck it up? What then?

Maybe coming here was a bad idea. He isn't here yet. Maybe it's not too late to run away and be sorry for the rest of my life. Maybe-

"Hi"

Oh shit he 's here.

"Hello". That didn't sound like I was trying to get away just 5 seconds ago at all.

"I'm sorry I'm a bit late, I had a lecture that lasted too long". He doesn't look very confident which is weird on him, maybe I’m not the only one who is nervous about this.

"Don't worry Baz" it's been a while since I last said his name, it sounds nice. "It's fine I wasn't waiting for long"

I was. Almost half an hour. But it's okay, if it's him I'm willing to wait for a lifetime.

“Thank you” I say. “For agreeing to meet me after all this time”

I'm being weird aren't I?

“I wanted to see you, Snow”. He is hiding his face with his hair. It looks so soft, just like before, maybe a bit longer.

“Baz, I'm sorry. For everything”. I blurt out.

Fuck. I shouldn't have said that. He looks perplexed. crap crap crap crap. What do i do now? backtrack? pretend I didn't say that? run? 

“Si… Snow… it wasn't only your fault. What happened… I…”

Baz Pitch at a loss for words? if i wasn't terrified of messing this up again maybe i would tease him. Okay definitely not the time.

“We had to work on ourselves, grow a bit, everything back then was so crazy. I don't know how we survived everything” he says with a troubled expression.

“We almost didn't” it’s the truth. When I was at Watford I never thought I would make it past eighteen, I know he thought the same, I still remember the forest. And the chimera before that, all the things that happened with The Mage. That terrible trip to America (I don’t know how Penny can go back). 

He is looking me in the eyes now, with that damn eyebrow raised. It's good to know some things dont change.

“The thing is, Simon, we are in a better place now, it took us a while but that doesn't matter anymore”

He is right. He always is.

“Wanna go for coffee?”

-

It could have gone worse. The good thing we agreed to meet next week again. The bad thing is he looks over me. I don't think he loves me anymore, not after how I ended things, not after all I put him through. It's just fair, I didn't expect him to, not really, I still had some hope left, I never felt for anyone how I feel for Baz. It's been almost three years since the (new) Watford catastrophe, and since the last time we were together. still, even if he doesn't love me in that way (or any way) anymore I would like to keep in touch, to know what he is doing now. and I know it sounds selfish of me but I still care. I care so much

I know it's my fault we broke up. I couldn't tell him how much I love him, I wouldn't let him be near me, I pushed him away. I have no right to ask him to take me back, but it won't stop me from trying. I wanna try again, this time I will be better, I'll show him I won't be a terrible boyfriend anymore. Baz this time you'll stay,this time I'll take care of you. i won't give you reasons to run away, i won't make you suffer. Even if it doesn't go that way I want to make things right. At least I want him to know the truth.

**BAZ**

I never thought I would see him again. So when he texted me last week, asking if I was free today I was surprised, happy and scared all at once. He looked the same but also so different from the Simon I once knew, the bronze curls, his blue eyes, all his freckles (probably more than before). His smile, Crowley his smile. It was like falling for him all over again, except now we are no longer kids who were thinking about the imminent war. now we have our lives together, well a bit more than back then. I’ve thought about him every day since the last time I saw him. He never left my mind and he is here again. He might want to give us a chance again (why else would he want to meet up after all this time?). Oh Simon Snow. I never stopped loving you. You never left my mind. And Fiona said I was a fool for not forgetting him.

**SIMON**

I'm early. Again. I guess Baz likes to be fashionably late all the time. Or maybe he doesn't really care and doesn't want to see me for a long time. I organized today’s date (is this a date?). I chose a small cafe near campus, the scones they sell are delicious, not like the ones at Watford but almost. I am very nervous. We've texted a bit since last week but I don't know if we are exactly in good terms by now. How long is enough to heal from a broken heart? Is two years enough? Did I break his heart? it was very hard to love me back then, maybe he didn't, he was just too proud to break his promise of being at my side. the bell on the door sounds, I lift my eyes from my coffee cup. 

Baz. That perfect black hair is in a half knot and it looks so cute it should be forbidden. his grey eyes, wonderful as always look around the cafe until they find mine and i swear i can see a faint smile. Maybe there's some hope left.

I realized at some moment I got up. Just like in eight year after he came back to school. except this time his eyes look softer, and I don't hate him. 

“Hi Baz”

“I'm late again, aren't i?” he's definitely smiling now

I chuckle. “Just a bit”

“I'll go order, do you want something else?”

“Maybe some scones”

He looks at me, not surprised at all. 

“Of course you want scones, some things never change uh?”

-

**BAZ**

I don't know what he's playing at, I don't know if this is just because at some point he considered me his friend.

_“Because you are more than that”_

I don't know if this is part of his therapy. Does he still go to therapy? I know I haven't gone back in weeks now, and well after how his sessions ended back when we were together I don't even know if he ever went back. But it's possible Bunce made him go. There's no way to say no to that girl. Even now, she's still impossible, we talk sometimes, I always loved our debates, she would give me some news about Simon but never too deep, she knew it would hurt too much. Snow probably knows we meet up sometimes, maybe he asked about me too, even if he broke up with me he always said it was for my own good so he must have cared enough. proof of that is this weird meetings (dates?) we talk about normal stuff, how school is going, the things we are doing (he is baking now) we even talk about Mordelia, she is Watford's problem now. mundane stuff, nothing too deep, nothing about the tragic past, not after that first time in the library, it makes me wonder, what does he want? Does he want to get back together? He never specified if there was still hope for us back then. And smiles and gentle gestures aside he hasn't said anything about our relationship now. 

it's crazy I still hold these feelings. I have tried to forget him, losing myself in a few bars on the weekends, going out with some guys from school, but it never worked, they didn't help me forget, they only showed me how much i still loved him so i stopped trying eventually. 

SImon is the love of my life, the same conclusion I reached back in fifth grade. Crowley I'm still a mess in the feelings department. But if snow wants to get anywhere with this, if he wants to give us a chance again then i'm willing to try. I'm dying to try.

our story deserves a second part, this time i won't let him slip away.

\---

“Baz?” 

We are in the park, it's a nice afternoon. Spring is coming along so everything looks more colorful.

“Yes, Snow? '' He looks nervous.

I don't think he heard me, sometimes he gets lost in his head sometimes, ironic compared to when we were kids. I nudge him on the arm.

“Sorry. I was thinking...” another new thing

“Spill it out Snow”

“Can you drop it?” Great now he's annoyed.

“What did I do?!”

“I mean… the name thing, it annoys me, you know I prefer Simon, can you just call me that?”

“I can try, but no promises” it feels too romantic, too personal. “Simon”.

“Thanks” 

We keep walking, but he doesn't drop the nervous energy, there has to be something else he isn't telling me.

“Was that all? You look like you are about to explode”

He stills all of a sudden. well i fucked up. great way to go, Basilton. should i apologize? Will he run away? What do I do? I just ruined this thing that's going out for months now. great way to get him back.

“Simon I’m sorry, I shouldn't have-”

“No dont worry baz its fine, it's just, well it makes me remember about” He shrugs. Of course I know what he means

“Still it was very insensitive of me”

“Really it's fine, you are right though.” he faces me, looking me straight in the eyes.”There is something else”

“Oh” he is making me worry now. 

“Relax baz, it's nothing bad” now he is almost touching my hand. “do you mind if we sit?”

-

“So what is it?” I say.

“Baz i never stopped loving you, i know i didn't say it back then and that it was really hard to express my emotions back then but i did. love you i mean. I still do. i just wanted you to know, and well, if you wanted to consider getting back with me it would be great but like you don't have to or anything”

Well, that's… surprising. 

“Baz?”

I notice I've been silent for way too long.

“Baz like I said you dont-”

“I’m sorry it was just very sudden, I wasn't expecting that.” I am avoiding looking at him, if I’m glad I can't blush right now.

“So?”

“I…” am I really stuttering? get yourself together Basilton. “I feel the same” I mumble. 

“What is it? you talked really low…”

“I said I feel the same,” Crowley. I can feel his eyes on me.

“Really?” he is beaming, I can totally picture his face right now, that big smile of his, eyes shining, looking even more blue than usual. like the face he gets when he smells scones.

I risk a look, yes, there's that smile.

I realize I'm smiling too, I hadn't noticed.

“Yes Sn- Simon, I love you, I always have” I put my hand on his. “And i want to try, if you are okay with it ofco_”

“Yes!” his smile gets bigger, if that's possible.”Can i?”

“Can you what Snow?”

“Can I kiss you?” he whispers, his face is so close to mine I can feel his breath on my cheek.

“yes”

And then he kisses me.It feels like coming back home. i am so happy. I never thought I could be this happy. I love him so much, and he feels the same, and he wants to try this. Again. 

“I promise this time you'll stay”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! You can find me on tumblr or insta at @dreamingkc


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